Girls in Sports: Navigating Transitions and Retirement as a Young Female Athlete
I was a competitive gymnast for nine years. When I retired from gymnastics just weeks before my 15th birthday, I knew big shifts were coming. I didn’t have expectations of what was to come, except that I would probably feel sad for a while.
After my birthday, I remember sitting at a pool in the middle of summer, listening to other kids around me laugh and have fun. But all I could do was stare blankly at the waves and wonder if I was beginning to regret my decision.
What I was experiencing that summer wasn’t regret. It was the weight of transition, and the shift in who I believed myself to be.
Why Transitions in Sport Feel So Big
Life transitions are really transitions between identity constructs.
As young kids, identity is fluid. Kids are constantly experimenting with new ways of being and shifting between roles and interests.
As teenagers, identity becomes more concrete. And when an identity transition occurs, it feels less seamless and instead creates a more seismic, radical shift.
Transitions have a peculiar way of pulling up both the best and the worst thoughts and feelings. There may be hope and excitement about what’s to come, while at the same time confusion and fear about stepping into the unknown. Concurrently, there may be reverence for past experiences and pride in accomplishments, while also nostalgia and grief for what’s left behind.
For young women moving through life transitions, some of these thoughts and feelings are recognized and processed. But grief often is not acknowledged or deemed acceptable.
Identity After Sport: When “I Am an Athlete” Changes
For young women (teenagers and early 20-year-olds), transitions in sport are subject to those great identity shifts. A young female athlete dedicates years to her sport and becomes “that” athlete. For nine years, my identity was, “I am a gymnast.”
Letting gymnastics go didn’t just mean walking away from a sport I loved tremendously. It meant letting go of the piece of myself that identified as a GYMNAST.
To me, a GYMNAST was powerful, graceful, and unique. I had attached myself to those qualities of a HUMAN through being a gymnast. And without the GYMNAST, I felt as if I’d lost those qualities in myself as a HUMAN.
I spent weeks feeling really sad. At the time, I didn’t have the insight to help me understand what I was experiencing. It took me 15 years to finally understand. Grief is what I had been feeling.
Young Female Athletes and Unrecognized Grief
Girls are rarely taught that grief is a normal part of life and that it is okay. Most of the time, it isn’t modeled for them. Kids and young adults are often dismissed in their grief, as they’re assumed to have few real problems or to possess an innate ability to “bounce back.” But kids are the most impressionable, and experiences affect them more profoundly and permanently.
And Western culture, in general, is uncomfortable with grief. Many adults struggle to identify it in themselves, let alone guide a young adult through it.
In a sport transition, there can be grief in not only losing her sport and teammates, but also losing part of herself.
Transitions for young female athletes can include:
Middle school to high school
High school to college
College athletics to retirement and into adulthood
Switching sports
Changing clubs or teams
Chosen or forced retirement due to injury or circumstance
These identity shifts are not always seen, but they can be MASSIVE.
How to Support Teen Girls Through Sport Transitions
If you are a parent with a daughter navigating a life transition, or you are a young woman who is struggling with a life transition right now, I’m here to help.
The question isn’t, “How do I help my daughter process grief?”
A more powerful question might be:
How can I support my daughter in expressing her most authentic self?
Parents’ instinct is to protect their child and make their child’s pain go away, and rightly so. But your role in adolescence isn’t to provide all the answers and fixes. Your role is to help her build the tools to navigate into womanhood. These transitions are the moments when she learns how to trust herself and decide who she wants to become.
A Coaching Space for Rebuilding Identity
My coaching program is one of those resources you can offer her.
I’m not a psychotherapist or grief counselor. I am a life coach.
I hold space. I listen. I guide. I teach her how to transmute her pain.
After working for eight years as a physical therapist, I understand what drives humans to want to feel well, move well, and be well.
I help young women rebuild identity through:
Small daily habits
Compassionate goal-setting
Honest conversations
Accountability without pressure
Integration of new life changes
The hard parts matter, but they don’t have to define the experience. There can also be immense joy in transitions — expansion, freedom, and the beginning of something entirely new.
